It happens. As much as we hate to admit it, advisors encounter students who they perceive to be difficult, irrational, or simply unpleasant. We are human, and as such, are going to relate to some students better than others. In fact, we may enjoy interactions with some students while avoiding interactions with others. If you find yourself rolling your eyes when you see a student on your schedule, skipping over multiple emails from a particular student, or telling "funny" stories about students in the office, it's an indicator that you are at risk for introducing bias into your advising.
I received a call from a colleague the other day that started like this: "Do you remember that difficult student who..." I did recall the student right away. My colleague then said, "She is very upset because she's insisting that her record is wrong. I checked it, and there's nothing wrong with it. She keeps insisting that it's wrong. I'm going to tell her it's not." Each of our initial reactions to this student was that of defensiveness, for the student often communicates with a raised voice and imperatives. However, we must transcend our emotional responses, for we are here for students. Period. Advising is never about us. It is about the student. In this case, the student had a need. An unresolved need. It is our job to identify the source of her concern and help to resolve it, either by providing information or resolving the problem. The first thing to do is to consider the facts. The student stated that her record was incorrect, and told the advisor where she saw the discrepancy. The advisor checked one screen, and did not find the source of the discrepancy. She contacted me and I checked a few other screens and could not find the discrepancy. However, knowing that the student saw something somewhere, we kept looking. We found the problem buried deep in her record and then contacted another department to have the record adjusted. Instead of telling the student, "Nothing's wrong with your record," the advisor was able to respond, "I found the source of your concern and have requested that your record be adjusted."
Students come to us for help, and they come as humans. Rather than giving into the temptation to provide less than quality advising to our challenging students, try to understand the source of their behaviors and attitudes. For instance, this student had every right to be frustrated that she had requested a change in her record on multiple occasions, and it was not done. By having the problem solved, she is more apt to develop trust in her advisor and the institution. Students who approach us in anger are often fearful. The source of their fear may stem from a fear of academic failure, financial loss, or low self-esteem. When we are able to reduce the fears through providing comprehensive advising, we have a better chance of positively engaging students and affecting behavior change.
While all of us may experience these negative emotions from time to time, it is important to remember this. If you find yourself in contempt of your students, it's time to find a new profession. Thoughts such as "students are so lazy," "students are so demanding," or "why can't these students figure it out on their own?" can indicate that an individual is at risk for burn-out or is not a good fit for the role of advisor. It is my hope that the good days far outweigh the bad, and that you are able to enjoy the opportunity to share in your students' academic journey.
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